my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
