yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
