he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
