so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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