Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
