i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
