It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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