My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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