apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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