Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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