had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
