you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
