Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
