you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
