Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize