We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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