who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
