do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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