Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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