I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
