You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
