I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
