So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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