Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
