But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
