The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
