he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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