I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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