Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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