Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
