1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize