apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
there is glitter all over my balls
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I see more hoeing in ur future
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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