Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
