I bet he comes in French.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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