sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
