apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
