i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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