well I can't set my house on fire every night
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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