yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Bring me that man meat
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
