It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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