No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
