i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
