guys are not supposed to queef...right?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
