Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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