Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
