The maid of honor just puked.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
