Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm having to shit out rocks
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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