yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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