Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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