i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
is wine microwaveable?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
