they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
