Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
