the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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