Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
