Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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