Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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