no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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