Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize