Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
